Day 54 and Before

What had happen was...

I would have put up a picture of my mouth, but I'll spare you those images. If you want to see though, just Google "Tonsillectomy recovery photos" I'm telling you now they're pretty gnarly. So, my dog's butt will suffice.

So to start, I really don't remember much from the surgery so, this is all guessing. I don't remember much nowadays but, let me not skip ahead.

Surgery Time!

I waited FOREVER to get my tonsils out. I mean it was suggested in high school to get them bad boys out and I really just did NOT want to go under a knife. I don't think it was every the surgery itself, I think I was always scared I'd say something super embarrassing that I'd never live down so I waited. And waited. And next thing I know I'm 23 scheduling a tonsillectomy. Now I should have known this was doomed from the start-- I like to sleep. I probably sleep close to 12-14 hours a day. I just love it. So when this was scheduled at 5:30 in the morning, I should have seen the warning signs. Hell, the doctors weren't even awake. Plus I was mad I couldn't eat. So there's that.

I remember sitting in that uncomfortable chair, buck-ass naked with only a surgical robe on and joking with my mother. I don't think I could tell you all the people on my "team" but there had to be at least 6 people. So, they put the needle in my arm for the IV and it really wasn't as bad as I thought... and then I threw up. I guess it made me a bit nauseous so they gave me medicines and I continued to goof around. They got me in the room and told me to sit on the bed. I remember saying something along the lines of "Don't want to show you my clam, doc." and I laid down. The last thing I remember was what felt like a burning sting, like if a bee and a spider had a baby and then stung me, and yelling at the lady who replied something along the lines of "I told you it would sting a little." And I was out.

I woke up awhile later to the incisions being uncomfortable. I wouldn't say I was in pain, just uncomfortable. My mouth was way more uncomfortable. Whatever contraption they used to hold my fat tongue down let a massive indent on my tongue, horizontally. I couldn't feel my tongue still and I felt like I couldn't hold my head up (it was on an endless loop-de-loop of head twirls) I remember getting into a wheelchair and then somehow I was in a car, periodically opening my eyes to see trees passing by. Next thing I knew I was in my bed.

Not much of the next couple days I can remember. I remember at one point puking blue Jell-o and it being one of the only times vomit will ever be sweet. On Day 3, the anesthesia finally wore off and I woke up to an episode of Project Runway. I remember some dreams I had during the recovery process, as all of them were so realistic and vivid. I can see why creative people use Oxy. Me? I wasn't too fond of the taste or the dreams. They were weird. One was a giant gingerbread coffin my step-grandparents made for me. It had a whole little story in it and had to be a good 6-10 feet long. The only other one I remember had this girl that worked in a bookstore and she was in training. This customer touched a manga book (you know, the black and white comics) and turned it to full color. The manager just said "So you see the dead too. You're going to want to burn that. Not everyone sees the dead and for the book-we can't sell color Mangas."

I started talking around Day 3-4, I sounded off. I sounded as if I were stuffed up and my voice was in my head. A day later, I developed some vocal abnormality. My voice sounded childlike. My "L"s were "W"s; my "TH"s were "D"s. I sounded like I've never learned how to talk and I'm just now learning. This lasted until I went to school... On Week 3.

My first day of school was rough, I woke up with no voice and as it progressed into my night class I developed the childlike voice again. I had difficulties walking too. I chalked it up to being basically bed ridden for two weeks and when I did try to walk at first, it felt completely foreign, like I've never walked before. I tried writing as well, but that too felt foreign and holding a pencil was not comfortable so I stopped. A few days before school started I walked around a Burlington's for two hours. After the half hour mark I had to heavily rely on a cart to help me walk and take breaks. It wasn't ideal but I knew going back to school would be worse. So back to my first day. I walked across campus as there were no parking spots in the garage closest to the building I needed to be in. That was exhausting! I literally almost gave up halfway through and even asked if I could take a leave until I could get back on my feet. (I never took the leave as by the end of the week I felt as though I could do the walking... I also woke up sooner to parking in the nearest parking garage) I had my friends help me walk to my classes (Thank you, Miles and Alli) and eventually my stamina came back.

The day before Valentine's Day was my post-op appointment. The doctor stuck a light in my mouth and said I'm "good to go". My mother and I mentioned that I was still experiencing clicking/popping in my ears and that I had a vocal thing going on and by that time the vocal thing was back to normal. He said just like my voice, my ears will be back to normal.

My voice returned to normal for two weeks. My days back to work were great, exhausting but nice to be back. I work nights and chalked my mouth drooping as a sign of fatigue... Boy was I wrong.

Day 1

It was my first Sunday shift back to work. I was learning a new skill and working in a partnership as he was showing me the ropes. Chris asked me how I was doing, as I hadn't seen him since I got back, and I told him good. That I got my voice back a week ago but I was still having difficulties with some words. He asked and I told him "purple","partial", and "burger". I said them maybe three times and we continued talking about something, maybe the job, I don't know. I talk about many things all the time.

Setup wasn't officially my first task of the shift-Phones was. Someone came into the workroom with a question and as I attempted to chime in my answer I heard my voice changing before my ears and my coworkers. Some of them asked what happened and I replied I wasn't sure and that I was going to rest it. Luckily, my brother, his wife and kids and my mom were at the library visiting that day. I rested my voice until I got to the desk. I opened my mouth and the childlike accent was back. A lot of customers asked if I could sign and if I was hard of hearing. It was extremely difficult.

The next day, it came back and during my night shift, shifted to a Swedish-like accent with a bit of Irish in there.

After a little less than a week, my accent had formed into what it is now-Scottish/Irish/Australian accent. I scheduled a doctors appointment and I walked in to see if I could get an earlier date. (I was in the area) When I asked and said why, the receptionist got my doctor who said I COULD be having a stroke or seizure and that I needed to go to the ER right then. The doctor then said she'll do the preliminary tests and that the ER was still to be visited. I was an ugly sobbing mess and called my mom. Right before my mom got there, the test came back I wasn't having a stroke or a seizure, actively, so the ER wouldn't be needed. So when my mom got there she asked what's going on and the doctor said it COULD be Foreign Accent Syndrome or a vocal disorder. We asked if she's ever seen this and she said no, she's only read about it. Promising, right? So she referred me to a speech pathologist to help me fix whatever it is, an MRI and an EEG to rule out stroke or seizure, previously had.

I scheduled them but, because of Ms. Rona, both appointments were cancelled early on. The only concerns I have are the headaches (as I'm typing I have a terrible one) and the memory gaps. I pretty much can only remember 2019 and up. (with some memories sprinkled in there)

Day 54

I'm noticing the more I'm out of work the more comfortable I get with the accent. Everyday it changes and from day to day it gets thicker or lighter but still consistently there. I've learned to appreciate it and to not be startled when I can't remember something or pronounce something the right way. For now, I'm just enjoying the ride.

HB